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Stop Being Toxic – The Gay Community Doesn’t Need Negativity

Rohan Noronha

Hi Everyone,

Hope you are doing well, as the same does here.

Today, I would like to write about the various ways, the gay community internally plays a toxic role to further demoralize the vibrancy of the community. I know this post is going to rub off many a shoulder, but I really have to speak about this.

Stop stereotyping

You know we gay men have various roles to play (on bed) and hence we fall under the category (top, versatile top, versatile, versatile bottom, bottom and side). Don’t we? But the shaming and labelling begins here. There are some of us who don’t like such labels. On many gay dating apps I have noticed users making it very clear that they don’t believe in such labels. So out of respect, you shouldn’t label them, period.

Another form of stereotyping (blame it on the toxic mentality) is labelling the macho men as tops only and the femme gays as bottoms only. NO, IT DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY. Do your research. There are feminine tops too, drag queens can be tops as well. Just because you are a femme gay, it doesn’t mean you are a bottom. There are manly bottoms too, and there are sissy daddies, muscular bottoms, skinny tops, short tops, tall bottoms and the list can go on- STOP STEREOTYPING.

Stop labelling

For Christ’s sake, and I am fed up with the labelling. If you are a bottom or a versatile bottom, and if you like being called “sister” or “didi”, that’s fine and so be it. That’s because you like it and identify with it. There are many bottoms and versatile bottoms (me included), who do not like labels, and who do not identify with such labels. Do not label us and respect our decision to be not labelled a “sister” or a “didi”. I know many of the famous “lgbt” activists have encouraged such labelling in the past (jokingly or otherwise), but that is not what most gay men want or desire to be called. If you don’t like it, don’t be shy of calling it off- if you like it, so be it.

Stop slut shaming

Everyone has their own sexual needs to be fulfilled. So how many men a guy sleeps with, is none of your business. If you aren’t getting action, that is your loss. If someone else is getting it, good for him. I often see (especially bottoms) slut shaming one another. Why? How is allowing this toxic nature going to let the gay community thrive? Who gives you the right to slut shame the next person? Are you paying his bills? Are you feeding him? What he does behind close doors is none of your business.

Consent is important

This is so important for the femme gays and the dom gays. If someone is NOT INTO YOU, back off. That doesn’t mean they are toxic. Stop labelling them that. It means, they want to be friends only and nothing more. Being friends and being sexually attracted to you are two different things (read up more and get educated). You don’t have to be sexually attracted to a person, to be friends with them- do you?

So no matter how big your thing is between your legs, grow some brains and understand that ‘consent’ is important.

In the end, I would like to say, don’t let the vibrancy of the LGBT COMMUNITY go down the drain. We have enough as it is on our plates to bother about. Stop the internal toxicity and live a happy life.

Good day!

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