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Gay pride

-Agnivo Niyogi

India is a nation which has its feet in the twenty first century but soul in the sixteenth. A society where generation gap stares bluntly at your face, it is but natural for the young to be reined in within a limit of “morality” which essentially encompasses everything that would “embarrass” the family in the society at large. Family ties outweigh individual aspirations and thoughts are chained to the fetters of traditions in this society which never dares to dream beyond the evident.

Sexuality as a whole is a banned object of discussion in a family discourse. Mention of the S word in any family gathering will earn you stares and silent reprimands. Such “dirty” talks are better limited to the dark of the night or the abbeys of the closet. It is but natural for such a conservative society to adopt the “silent mode” on alternate sexuality.

Homosexuality is avant-garde, anti procreative means ordained by God. Nature does not permit you to turn into a beast by devouring the members of the same sex – Oh aren’t these traits of pedophiles, lusty men who have united to kill the institution of marriage? Have we not heard these lines times and over again? Curious questions regarding sexual fetish, gazing look trying to decipher the untamed beast inside, sermons of morality tantamount to warnings against going on a warpath with God, do we not bear it with silent screams every day?

Fighting a battle with the society becomes easier when we have the support of the family. But tragically being gay in India is a tragic battle; fought without the blessings of the dear ones. The journey is a sojourn which sets you up against yourself. They say homosexuality is a disorder, some yoga therapists claim to have its cure too, well at one point of life the disorder does get into you. Having been made to realize how you have shamed the society and family, life poses the question of life before you. Being gay in India is the choice that you make – between life and after life.

In life you die and in death you discover the zeal to live. Gay is synonymous to happy, ironic, for the term is applied to whom happiness is denied at the cost of honour. But being gay in India is also about the struggle for happiness and dignity. Being gay in India is above all a responsibility to let our future generations realize the value of equality, fraternity, liberty and justice.

Being gay in India is all about being an Indian.

Sukhdeep Singh
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5 Responses

  1. Aditya/@TaiyouSun

    Gay / sexual orientation / preference, what ever it may be called, one has to sum in the fact that inter caste, inter religion marriages face such a high opposition, same sex marriages is far off the chart in terms of acceptance!

  2. sumana

    “In life you die and in death you discover the zeal to live”… yes i completely agree with you… thus one shud live a life wholeheartedly…and not die every moment…

    a person’s sexuality is completely is private affair…i have often come across educated class of people who make fun of same sex couples…i tried but failed to understand the comic part in it… time and again people have given mee shocking stares if i have discussed my sex life with them… if feeling hungry and sharing a table with one of either the opposite or the same sex is not considered a taboo then why shud making love be?

  3. chotu

    Nonsense, Indian as a whole is are phobic of love marriages. I find people do not object to same sex sex much. ‘Gand Mar lunga’, ‘aa chuppa de de’ are such a common word. Effeminate guys are not despised though mocked. Bullying is kind of absent in India. Religion do not object much as you can see hijras travelling around no priest object to them…….. we have different kind of suffering and phobia prevalent here. Do not equate it to west, we are better than west and we are worst than west…………..

  4. Rahul

    A very well written article, and it has covered many aspects of Gay Life in India, except the biggest emerging trend that is going on, which is, FORCED straight marriages upon Gay’s, which could be self inflicted, or under parental or societal pressure.

    I do this social service/part time counseling under my own NGO: “Ardhnarishwara Support Group”.

    While counseling this has come to my attention that majority of the confused gay teenagers/youngsters, taking into account the UNEXCEPTANCE from the parents/society, label them selves as Bi-Sexual or Curious, and this starts creating a false sense of their own identity and when the real time comes when they are suppose to get married, under that self accepted false identity, they think that they can get married and continue that life or a duel-life, but to their dismay, on “”Suhaag Raath/Nuptial Night””, they are shocked that they are 100% gay and cant perform.

    That is when the HELL part of their life starts !!!!

    I have even done part time counseling at a Health Center in Chicago for last 9 years and their statistics/studies have found that gay married men at a much higher rick of contacting STD’s and HIV and giving the same to their wife.

    Why?

    Because they do everything HIDDEN/Discreet, and even the status of STD’s and HIV stays HIDDEN !!!

    IMPORTANT: SAFE SEX is just an ILLUSION, because even touching and kissing can get you STD’s and STI’s.

    SOLUTION: Find a stable partner, Long Term Relationship or a Life Partner.

    Rahul.

    CEO/President – NGO — Ardhnarieshwar Support Group.