This is my last year of college, I feel like I haven’t lived these four years as fully as I could, I want more out of it but we don’t have any control over time, it just flows like anything. Now what can I do? Can I ever be nostalgic about my college days if I haven’t got laid with anyone from my Engineering batch? If I haven’t made out in the woods nearby the campus, if I haven’t tried flirting with my straight seniors, if I haven’t gone to the mountains behind the college gate to see the sunset, on a bike ride with my date, if I haven’t made my friends think that I’m definitely gay? If I haven’t had dozens of female friends and talked about cute freshers, if I haven’t found my professor’s husband on Grindr, if I haven’t danced on Beyonce’s 7/11 and We Run The World (Girls), like nobody is seeing, at our Cultural tests? I definitely have missed a lot.
But in this whole chaos I’m also excited that now finally I’ll leave my parents house and live on my own, in a new city, I will be having my own picture as my Grindr DP. But that’s like two three months away from now. But during this quarantine I have experienced something very strange, actually I have learnt something that I’ll never want to forget. I have met a lot of gays through dating apps, and I always wanted to go beyond these random hookups, I wanted to land on something solid and basic, I wanted a relationship, but I was confused like how to get this started. I mean where can I find these aliens who actually want to be with me, who can love me and can feel my love for them?
Now let me tell you something. I met someone through Internet and after a few kisses, we wanted to take it to the bedroom and when we both laid down and came closer, I could feel the wild energy through his breaths. I wanted to eat him and he didn’t want to resist, he produced thrusts through his body and I had to take them (not talking about the pounding). We were doing it all like there is no tomorrow. It tells that we both wanted each other in that moment, we wanted to share bodily energies. This is how any sexual relation works, right?
I could feel the wild energy through his breaths. I wanted to eat him and he didn’t want to resist
So what changed after we fell for each other? Now I’ll stop beating around the bush. So after a lot of observation and exploration, I came to know how to tell whether a person really wants you and is worth giving a try. The Mantra is that after your many hookups with someone, I knew his full name, remembered 6-7 digits of his phone number, his work timing, I didn’t need Google Maps to ride to his place.
But for me the Litmus Test was the moment when, on a sunny day, I asked him to meet me, he came to my place, we went to my bedroom, I leaned towards him and he responded with a gentle touch on my neck. His breath was still warm but not wild, we were not in a hurry, nobody pushed or pulled; our bodies kept coming closer and closer. Now I was sure we were not strangers anymore.
- Lockdown Diaries: NotStrangers Anymore - May 27, 2020
- A Letter to My Straight Friends - May 31, 2019
- Sex is Overrated - May 23, 2019