Dr. Uttam Dave apprises you of the dangers of bareback sex
Barebacking means having sex without using a condom. It is one of the most dangerous things gay men can do. As a way of achieving sexual satisfaction, it is the oldest way, but you need to keep an open eye, now that we are in the 21st century. Until the arrival of AIDS gay men hardly ever used a condom. In fact it was a done thing to ejaculate into your partner’s body, whether it was his mouth or his anus. Things changed after AIDS appeared in the scene. Most of the men began having protected sex.
Younger men are more attracted to barebacking. Probably they haven`t watched the slow death of their gay lovers and friends. To them AIDS is probably history. That`s too bad. We know AIDS is fatal and you too can be a victim.
Let’s look at barebacking from another perspective. Emotional problems influence a gay man`s sexual behaviour. Depression is the main culprit. Gay men who are acutely and chronically depressed are far more likely to indulge in unsafe sex then men who are not. Excitement seekers are another category who indulge in unsafe sex. If you are a depressed or an impulsive man, you need to do two things-
1.Take medications
2.Seek Psychotherapy.
If you have a gay friend who is endangering his life by barebacking, instead of criticising him, think if he has an emotional problem. Take him to a Psychotherapist.
So, how as a gay man should you fulfill your sexual desires? If you are going to have sex, carry condoms. Have them in your bedroom. Insist that your partner wear a condom if he is going to penetrate you. Be sexually assertive and say, `Put the condom on or put the clothes on`. Never give in to a man who says, `You can penetrate me without rubber`. You can be sure that he must have said that to all his sex partners.
In case you do bareback under the influence of alcohol or other drugs, be sure to get tested after a month. If you test negative, then get tested again after two months. If you do test positive, treatment with AZT is available.
There will be a day when condoms will be no longer necessary, but that is after the production of a vaccine. Till that time if you are having sex with a stranger, no matter how sexually innocent or handsome he may look, NEVER HAVE SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM. If you are a pair of sexually faithful partners, you need not worry about AIDS or STDs.
Dr Uttam Dave is a Sexologist & Relationship Counsellor for Straight Men and Women,Gays and Male Bisexuals. He practices at Andheri(W) and can be contacted at daveuttam7@gmail.com.
- Depression in Gay Men - November 5, 2014
- A Guide to Bondage And Discipline - September 7, 2014
- Do You Have A Drinking Problem? - April 23, 2014