1. Wants to help the poor Indian queers get their rights, but is glad he’s escaped the pathetic situation here.
2. Is outraged and feels dis-entitled if anyone suggests that Indian queers in India should be speaking for themselves while claiming their rights
3. Contributes only ₹100 to Indian queer activist work for every $100 s/he gives to All Out or Human Rights Campaign
4. Goes to a Modi Rally at Times Square believing that Modi will repeal Section 377.
5. Comes to Mykonos Sauna in Delhi and spends 4 hours talking to random strangers about how great Chariots in London or Babylon in Bangkok is .
6. Has two facebook profiles, one for ‘family and ‘friends’ and another for the girls and Baes.
7. When mom and dad visits from India, the same set of pics are posted in both profiles, one marked ‘parents visiting me and roomie’, the other marked ‘mom dad loved the BF’
8. Goes to a Delhi gay party and asks for a Turkish swindle with a touch of tequila. Looks crestfallen when it’s not available and reminds everyone how far the gay movement in India has to go
9. Prefers ‘white daddies’, Pakistani ‘straight guys’, and Indian ‘pure tops’, strictly in that order.
10. Is writing a dissertation on “lingering oppressions of colonial mindsets in the construction of sexuality and identity in post colonial subaltern cultures”
11. Is not racist, but thinks Chinese/Philipino/Vietnamese dudes are cheap competition.
12. When visiting India, goes shopping at Hauz Khas Village for ‘authentic Indian clothes’.
13. Thinks All Out is the source of all information queer, and forgets that it’s actually a mosquito repellant.