The rain was relentless in Chennai that evening, and so were the thoughts running through Karthik’s mind. The monsoon had turned the city’s roads into rivers, but Karthik barely noticed as he walked along the Marina Beach. He wasn’t thinking about the rain; he was thinking about the message he’d received that morning from Raj.
“Karthik, I’m sorry. I just got my test results. I’m positive.”
The words had been so cold, so distant on the screen, but they hit Karthik like a thunderbolt. His heart pounded in his chest as he stared at the message, unsure of what to do next. It wasn’t supposed to happen to them, not after they had been so careful. Or had they been?
Karthik and Raj had been together for almost a year now. They were careful—at least, that’s what they told themselves. They had talked about getting tested once or twice, but life got in the way. Raj was always traveling for work, Karthik was busy with his family obligations. “We’ll do it soon,” they’d say, brushing it off like it wasn’t a priority. They both knew better, but neither of them pushed.
Now, Raj’s message weighed heavy, like a stone in Karthik’s stomach.
Karthik stopped at a small coffee stall, staring out at the waves crashing in the distance. He wondered if other people around him were dealing with the same silent fears. How many others had let life’s distractions and their own fears stop them from getting tested?
Growing up in a conservative family, Karthik had always been taught to avoid conversations about his sexuality. In Chennai, being queer was still something people whispered about. Though things were changing, the judgment was still there, just beneath the surface. He had kept so many parts of himself hidden for so long, even from himself.
Growing up in a conservative family, Karthik had always been taught to avoid conversations about his sexuality.
Raj had been different. He was bold, unafraid to show the world who he was. Karthik admired that about him. But even Raj, with all his confidence, had hesitated when it came to getting tested. “We’re fine,” he’d said one night, cuddled up next to Karthik. “We’re careful. It’s okay.”
But Karthik knew it wasn’t okay. That nagging voice in the back of his head had whispered it for months. They should’ve been tested earlier. Now, it was too late for one of them. Maybe not too late for him. Or maybe it was.
The coffee vendor handed him the steaming cup, and Karthik paid without even noticing the exchange. His phone buzzed again. It was Raj.
“I know you’re upset, but we have to deal with this. I’ll be here for you no matter what, okay? Just… get tested.”
The fear gripped Karthik’s chest again. He didn’t want to face the possibility of a positive result, the judgment at the clinic, or the stigma that had always hovered around HIV and STIs. In Chennai, the shame that came with being diagnosed could feel like a life sentence. Even the healthcare system, which was supposed to help, often failed the LGBTQ community with cold stares and hushed whispers.
But Raj was right. This wasn’t just about him anymore—it was about them, and it was about breaking the cycle that allowed infections like these to spread in their community.
Karthik had read enough to know that HIV wasn’t the end. People lived long, healthy lives with proper treatment. But they had to catch it early. That’s where he and Raj had gone wrong—they’d let fear and complacency get in the way of their health. He thought about all the other couples like them, people who loved each other but never talked about testing.
The LGBTQ community in Chennai, and across India, was already vulnerable. With the stigma and lack of information, many didn’t even realize they were at risk. Karthik knew of friends who had avoided testing, terrified of being judged. Others just didn’t want to acknowledge the reality of what might happen if they found out the truth. But every day they didn’t get tested, the risk grew—not just for them, but for their entire community.
Karthik glanced at the coffee in his hand, now cooling in the rain. He wasn’t just scared for himself; he was scared for what this meant for him and Raj. But more than that, he realized he was tired of living in fear. This wasn’t about shame or guilt. It was about love—love for himself, for Raj, and for the future they wanted to build together.
He took out his phone and found the nearest clinic that offered HIV and STI testing. The thought of walking into the clinic, facing the questions, the possibility of a diagnosis—it was overwhelming. But Karthik knew that getting tested was the only way to move forward. It was the responsible thing to do, not just for him but for everyone he loved.
Raj’s message flashed again on the screen.
“Please, Karthik. I don’t want you to go through this alone. We’ll face whatever happens together.”
Karthik felt a strange sense of calm wash over him. He wasn’t alone in this. Raj wasn’t alone in this. Their story wasn’t unique, but maybe, just maybe, they could be the ones to break the cycle in their community.
He sent a message back.
“I’ll go. Tomorrow.”
As he walked away from the beach, Karthik knew this was just the beginning. There would be others, other friends and couples in Chennai, across the country, who would face the same fear and hesitation. But perhaps, if they saw him and Raj getting tested, if they knew it was possible to face that fear, it would inspire them to do the same.
The rain had finally stopped, and the clouds were parting to reveal a bit of the evening sky. Tomorrow was another day, and Karthik was ready to face it.
- Short Story: The Test We Avoid - December 29, 2024